SAILING IN MILWAUKEE (or: “There Are No Salt Water Intakes On a Fresh Water Boat”)

By: RC Paul Bischoff

After an exhausting 36-hour trek through half of the world’s airports, I finally arrived at my hometown of Milwaukee.  I’d just finished a business trip to Japan, and thought it would be nice to surprise my mother with a visit that spanned both her birthday and Mother’s Day.    Apparently I was able to drag some California weather with me as I traveled east, as it was unseasonably warm when I arrived.  After 3 weeks away from my boat, a few days of great weather with a large body of water so close at hand was causing my inner pirate to get restless.  About 4 hours of searching downtown Milwaukee led me to a place called Performance Yachts, run by a really friendly guy named Brian. (Are all the good dock guys named Brian? Hmmm…)

Wisconsin has this funny thing called “winter” (I know, it’s an unfamiliar term… I’ll wait while you look it up.)

OK, so Wisconsin has “winter”, which includes “ice”.   Lucky for me, the ice was gone, and Brian and his crew were just putting their Catalina 30 charter boat into Lake Michigan to start the season.  After about 30 minutes of looking around the boat (including one stupid question I asked about a salt water tap on the galley sink), I arranged to charter the boat for the next morning.  To my knowledge, my mother had never been sailing, and whenever I’m there, I try to give her some sort of new experience.  Since she likes to wake up a little later these days, she was a bit put off by the 8:30am “leave the house” time, but otherwise seemed interested in heading out.

We arrived at the dock shortly after 9am with a few friends, and Brian and his guys had the boat cleaned up and ready to go.  We loaded out cooler, a few of mom’s CD’s, and we were motoring away from the dock within 10 minutes.  There wasn’t much of a breeze yet, so I had the crew hoist the main while we motorsailed around Milwaukee’s inner harbor.  After seeing the skyline, we decided to head out the breakwall into the vast expanse of the Great Lakes.

Once we cleared the harbor, a few things happened:  1) we hit an inversion layer that dropped the temperature about 10 degrees, 2) my mother was noticeably uneasy, and 3) we picked up more passengers.

#1 was a unique experience… I usually can see the inversion, as witnessed by the fog of the California marine layer.  Not so in Milwaukee.  The cooler air just slaps you in the head, and makes you thankful you brought a jacket.  (You DID bring a jacket, right?)

#2 caught me off guard a little… apparently my mother has a phobia of deep water.  As long as she moved to the side of the cockpit that afforded a view of the city, she was good.  However, it was always interesting to see the look on her face whenever we tacked.

Regarding #3, we California Sailors enjoy a mostly insect-free sailing environment. Sailing in light air on fresh water brings a whole new ecosystem into play.  By my conservative estimate, I think we gained about 43,000 passengers in the form of gnats once we hit to cooler water.

I started pointing for some patches of wind I could make out on the water, and we were finally able to kill the motor and ghost along at an easy 4-5 knots.  As long as I remained close-hauled or on a close reach, the gnats seemed to stay away, thanks to the magic of relative wind.  However, anytime the relative wind was below 5 knots, they came back with a vengeance.  Lesson learned: Don’t sail on fresh water in light airs.  Ever.  The gnats don’t bite, but they are excessively annoying, and get into everything.

Once I learned the trick to making the gnats disappear, the sailing was fantastic, and allowed me to really indulge myself for a few hours and share the experience with a group of people who mean the world to me.  We had good music, great conversations, and we capped this fantastic morning with a near-flawless docking maneuver. In a river… with current!

I know, you’re used to my sailing stories involving some sort of near-death experience… sorry I couldn’t provide that this time.  This was simply a great day with great people in a great place.  If you’re ever in Milwaukee, be sure to check out Performance Yachts downtown.

-Rear Commodore Paul Bischoff

SAILING IN MILWAUKEE… A MOTHER’S PERSPECTIVE

Sailing with my son  - Chris Gillis

(ed. note: Chris is RC Paul Bischoff’s mother)

So how do you spend some quality time with someone you haven’t seen in over a year when they give you a huge surprise and show up on your doorstep?  I could come up with many things to do, but the following is what happened one day, and not what I would have chosen, given the option, with my son and his “let’s spend some time together mom”

Him: “Any plans for tomorrow?”

Me: “Nope.”

How about we do lunch?

Ok. 

By the way anything planned earlier in the day, say around 9 a.m. or so? 

No?  Why? 

Just thinking.

Later that evening sitting in the family room, son is busy doing something on his laptop when he turns it around for me to see and says: “This is what we’re doing tomorrow.”  I’m looking at the screen that is showing me a sail boat on beautiful blue water.  I start to think-so we’re going to look at some boats? This is early May, the boat show was a few months ago, where could we be going?  Then he mentions to me in a soft voice that WE ARE GOING SAILING on Lake Michigan tomorrow morning!  Isn’t that great?  Once my heart stops hammering away in my chest like a dinner gong, and my mind has had a chance to comprehend what was just said, I smile and say Ok.  All the while my inner voice is screaming; ARE YOU CRAZY?  You see, I have a phobia about being on a boat which is sitting on a large body of water, that is also deep water, and very possibly not seeing any land!  But wanting to spend some quality time with my son I agree to go on this insane trip.   Us mom’s will do almost anything for our young.  I’ve heard that some species actually eat their young, I’m beginning to wonder why I let this one slip pass me. 

Acting like there is nothing wrong, I start thinking about what I should wear tomorrow for this grand adventure.  It’s early May, we’re in Wisconsin, and extremely lucky if the temperature will hit 60 tomorrow, and we’re going to be sitting on top of a VERY COLD  and large lake.  Ok, jeans, two shirts, one sweatshirt, and a coat should suffice.  Take gloves just in case. Don’t forget to wear tennis shoes, the closest thing to boat shoes that will ever be in my closet.  Now try and get some sleep, the morning will be here much too soon.  Spend a wonderful evening dreaming of all the things that could possibly go wrong, do a lot of sweating, wake up not too refreshed and discover it wasn’t a dream but we really are going out on the lake today.

Remember, keep smiling!  Don’t eat too much for breakfast, and be sure to pack that special thermos with the “good” coffee in it.  You know the same kind of coffee Jackie Gleason and Dean Martin used to drink.  Now we’re set.  Off we go.  At least it’s a nice sunny day, unfortunately, or not depending on your view, not very windy.  Great for me, not so much for the sail boat.

Arrive at the river to get on the boat with friends, son-in-law, and the “one I let slip pass me”,  Explain to friends that I’m not a fan of sailing, but will do this to be with them and my son.  After all, we all have our own little phobia’s.

Get on the boat.  Good thing he’s got some people here who kind of know what to do and give him a hand in “launching” our grand craft.  I now have to try to stay out of the way while things are being prepared for our sail.  I’d have been happy to just sit in one spot drinking my “coffee”, but no, now I have to keep moving from one side of the boat to the other because they are getting the sails ready and other things that I have no idea about

Ok, now we’re set.  Let’s just motor out a bit, can’t we all just stay sitting?  Nope, things have to get done. Now we have to go past the breakwater and INTO THE WIDE OPEN WATERS OF THE LAKE!  Can’t we stay inside the breakwater? It’s not too bad right here-still nice and sunny and warm.  Nope-Got to find that wind for the sails.  Ok, so can we at least have some music so that I don’t have to hear the lapping of the water on the sides of the boat.  I KNOW that water is looking for me, waiting for me and will some how get a hold of me. Music on, sound of water has diminished.  Ok.  Now where is that thermos of mine?  Pace yourself, it might be more than a five minute ride.  Get to the breakwater and open lake.  WHERE’S MY SWEATSHIRT?   It has gotten a lot colder now that we’re outside the breakwater.  Is everyone happy now?  Oh, you bet!

Now thank goodness this boat has a little curved metal pole right near the steering wheel, because I now can stand in the middle of the boat, have something to hang onto for dear life and if I’m really lucky, I will always be able to face the shore without having to move around too much.  Are we having fun yet?  Right!  Keep smiling and keep the conversation up so no one will know just how scared I am.

Now we manage to catch some wind and I can say I really did sail on Lake Michigan in May.  Good.  Can we go back now?  Nope!  Now we’ll head up the coast a bit and then turn around and do a little zigging and zagging, and do these people really have to keep walking around, can’t they just sit in one spot like normal scared people do?  Ok, now let’s try to relax a bit.  This isn’t too bad.  The waves aren’t too high, I’m a little warmer due to the two shirts and the sweatshirt, and of course the “coffee”.  Oh, no!  I now have to go to the bathroom.  I know it’s down there in the belly of the beast.  I have to go down this ungodly angled ladder, try to walk across a floor that is curved, and into a room that if I sneeze in I could hurt my elbows and head.  I can do this.  Ask for help going down the ladder, try not to fall into the counters on the way to the head.  The boat keeps moving side to side.  I can do this!  Got that accomplished.  Now back the way I came and back up that ladder.

You know we have a very pretty city when you look at it from past the shore.  To bad I can’t just be looking at a post card!  Then there are those little annoying gnats that decided to come along for the ride.  Who invited them?  Are we going to be charged for extra passengers?  Don’t swat at them too much, you cause the boat to rock even more!  Have more “coffee”.  So how much longer are we going to be out here?  I have to start pacing myself with the “coffee” because I’ve only brought along a small thermos.  If I had known we’d be out here for 3 hours, I would have brought a much bigger thermos!

Time to head back, thank goodness!  Once inside the breakwater the sweatshirt comes off, and only two shirts remain.  Turns out the weather is really beautiful today.  There’s the dock!  Yes, I have made it back safe and sound.  Take the hand offered to me to help me off the boat.  Why does this pier keep moving?  Why can’t I walk straight?  I feel a little rubber leggy.  “Coffee” or waves?  Who cares!  I’m back on land.

What us mother’s won’t do to spend time with our children!  Gotta love em!   --Chris